The Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet
Fill in the blanks below, writing about someone (dead or alive) you haven’t yet forgiven one hundred percent. Use short, simple sentences. Don’t censor yourself—try to fully experience the anger or pain as if the situation were occurring right now. Take this opportunity to express your judgments on paper.
1. Who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why? What is it about them that you don’t like?
I am ________________ at ____________________ because __________________________________________________.
Example: I am angry at Paul because he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he argues with everything I say.
I am ________________ at ____________________ because __________________________________________________.
Example: I am angry at Paul because he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he argues with everything I say.
2. How do you want them to change?
What do you want them to do?
I want ________________ to __________________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong.
I want him to apologize.
What do you want them to do?
I want ________________ to __________________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong.
I want him to apologize.
3. What is it that they should or shouldn't do, be, think, or feel? What advice could you offer?
________________ should/shouldn't_____________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: Paul should take better care of himself. He shouldn't argue with me.
________________ should/shouldn't_____________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: Paul should take better care of himself. He shouldn't argue with me.
4. What do they need to do in order for you to be happy?
I need________________ to ___________________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: I need Paul to hear me and respect me.
I need________________ to ___________________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: I need Paul to hear me and respect me.
5. What do you think of them? Make a list.
________________ is _________________________________
____________________________________________________.
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious
________________ is _________________________________
____________________________________________________.
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious
6. What is it that you don't want to experience with that person again?
I don't ever want to __________________________________
____________________________________________________.
Example: I don’t ever want to feel unappreciated by Paul again. I don’t ever want to see him smoking and ruining his health again.
I don't ever want to __________________________________
____________________________________________________.
Example: I don’t ever want to feel unappreciated by Paul again. I don’t ever want to see him smoking and ruining his health again.
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